Parenthood is hard and that is the easy part.

Parenting is hard. Sometimes I make such hideous parenting mistakes that I wonder how on earth I have ever been allowed to engage in this wildly vulnerable dance known as parenthood. I think about how my words and actions impact my children and sometimes I cringe with shame. Tonight was the perfect example of how horribly I can screw up. It had been a particularly rough day with both boys at each other All. Day. Long. Gun play, all day long. Loud gun play, machine gun play, shoot em dead gun play and every time I heard their gun play sounds I would cringe and almost lose it as I calmly explained for the 4,000th time why I don’t, no why we don’t engage in this type of play, And then it happened, we were eating dessert and both my boys at almost the exact same time took their popsicle sticks and pointed them at each other and made machine gun sounds. I snapped, like the kind of snap that you see in the movies. I slammed both hands down on the table and screamed STOP IT!! ENOUGH!!! I shouted “I hate that sound, it makes me so sad and 50 people were just murdered in a nightclub for DANCING and having fun because some guy walked into the club with an automatic weapon and just opened fire because the people in the club were gay! They were MURDERED because they were gay and/or transgender!!!! Please know that I have spoken to my children about Orlando but in the most developmentally appropriate way that I know how to, but...
Single mom of two boys takes a trip by herself: Story at 11pm

Single mom of two boys takes a trip by herself: Story at 11pm

Doing the single mom with two boys dance means I rarely travel by myself so when the stars aligned and the opportunity presented itself to travel sans kiddos to Arizona, well let’s just say I was so excited that when I packed my bag, I forgot to include my toiletries AND underwear! Both items I discovered are highly overrated! Now I don’t know if this bizarre phenomenon happens to the rest of you moms but for me, without a doubt, even if I have just finished menstruating two days earlier, as soon as I step my big toe over the Denver International Airport  thresh-hold I get my period! Prior to realizing that I was going to enjoy my second period of the month I had planned on having the most blissful airport and flight experience because I did not have the responsibility of managing two young humans who would no doubt engage in Fight Club like behaviors when a side eye was given because food was chewed with an open mouth. However the universe obviously had other plans for me and sent a sledge hammer to the uterus message of, HEY MOM, while it’s true you do not have to deal with your kids and yes you should be enjoying a glass of wine and a beet salad at Root Down, our cosmic plans have you trading in the task of managing your children to managing wracking back cramps and period diarrhea! Enjoy your flight and remember, no getting up from your seat until the pilot has turned off the seatbelt sign. Now let me be totally transparent. I...
Debbie Scheer Joins The Pump and Dump Show in Tempe, AZ!

Debbie Scheer Joins The Pump and Dump Show in Tempe, AZ!

 Debbie Scheer and the Pump and Dump Show are migrating to the famously warm Arizona weather to put on a show at the Tempe Improv. The folks in Tempe, Arizona are in for quite a treat because Debbie has guaranteed this show to be the best comedy show you will EVER see! For those familiar with the Pump and Dump show, you understand why Debbie is the perfect addition to the Tempe Show.   The comedic duo of Pump and Dump have coined themselves the parentally incorrect comedy show that solicits a night out, for once. The show mocks motherhood with also being human and trying to maintain something that resembles peace of mind. The two female comics who created Pump and Dump have found a voice for the generation of young parents who are navigating parenthood with having a social life. The show features guitar songs like, “Eat your F***ing Food” which could resemble some nights at Debbie’s the kitchen table, as you read in Picky Eaters: A Food Profile of my Family. Pump and Dump creates a mom-centric comedy show that gets parents to laugh about the unmentionable things that happen when you have kids, they write songs about things parents connect to on a visceral level; like needing to pump before having a beer at the end of the evening. Debbie picks up on every little thing and can get a whole room to find hilarity in ordinary things. She also specializes in making everyone take themselves less serious and laugh through topics like sex, sexuality and parenting. This is bound to be the best comedy...
Picky Eating: A Food Profile of my Family

Picky Eating: A Food Profile of my Family

Every person in my family could be called picky eaters. We all have our own reasons for being picky eaters, some picky eating tendencies come by choice and some come by chance. When we’re at a table together Charlie, Sidney and myself are a complex and ever-changing riddle of picky eaters and food allergies. For me it’s no dairy, no gluten and no garlic. For Sidney it’s no nuts. Charlie’s taste buds can be somewhat unpredictable. If we go out to eat we are the wait person’s worst nightmare. I am a picky eater by the default of having a plethora of food allergies. And I would like to point out that food allergies are not a choice, they are just limits my body has prescribed for me around eating. With food allergies in mind, I am really more of a conscientious eater than a picky eater, but the obstacles look very similar. I read that researchers estimate somewhere around 15 million people in the United States have food allergies. So I know that I am not alone when it comes to being a picky eater out of necessity. Among my arsenal of tools for meal planning around picky eaters and food allergies is my Platinum Costco Membership and my Thug Kitchen Cookbook. I take the picking food thing very serious, including perfectly planned Costco visits, during low traffic times when the sample tastings are abundant and the other 3 million loyal daily Costco shoppers can be avoided. With the help of bulk-food supply and the no-nonsense Thug Kitchen recipes, I embrace an adventurous palate despite ingredient limitations. I cannot,...
We’re Still Talking About Sex: SexCom Denver Turns One!

We’re Still Talking About Sex: SexCom Denver Turns One!

SexCom Denver is the comedy inspired sex education that has sprung up for people of any age, gender, sexuality and experience level to engage in an honest conversation about sex. SexCom was started by the host Debbie Scheer, a local comedian, emcee and public personality; and Shanna Katz, a lively and knowledgeable sexologist. The combination of Debbie’s relatable comedy and Shanna’s sex expertise create the perfect chemistry for anyone to learn and laugh about sex. SexCom celebrated its  one year anniversary last weekend and it all started because Debbie  set out to create “something that I personally needed and that I saw the need in the people around me.”  She was coming out of an eleven year relationship and there were a lot of women in her life who were getting out of relationships that had been lacking sex for a long time. At that point Debbie wanted “ to evolve and never be in that type of low intimacy relationship again.” Debbie’s key technique in SexCom is getting everyone to laugh in order to lighten up the conversation about sex. The comedy approach reinforces that, “laughter is good for sex! It’s like eating chocolate on top of chocolate. It’s good for the relationship. It makes it less awkward.” And sex can at times be awkward! SexCom takes all of the awkwardness about sex and turns it into laughs. For its anniversary SexCom Denver held two back to back sold-out shows, both of which had a twenty person waiting list. For those who haven’t had the pleasure of attending SexCom (yet!), the next show will be on Valentine’s Day...
For the Cause, There is Comedy; Debbie Scheer Stands Up For Lincoln Elementary.

For the Cause, There is Comedy; Debbie Scheer Stands Up For Lincoln Elementary.

There was a new committee on the Lincoln Elementary School in Denver fundraising event of the year in November and Debbie Scheer; a parent, committee member, and emcee for the event; along with other members of the Lincoln Elementary community took the fundraiser in a whole new direction from years past. This is a new kind fundraising and Debbie Scheer is sprinkling it with laughter. Instead of silent auctions she provides awkward silences until there is 100% participation and she strips down social barriers so everyone can relax. Everything is better when we can laugh about it; this is her philosophy which she applies to all the causes that she gets on stage for. When a room full of people who are all together for a common cause can share a laugh- it shakes off the dust of the day-to-day and allows people to focus on the common goal. Whether that goal is to start a sex-positive dialogue with a room full of adults at SexCom Denver, the comedy-inspired adult sex education forum, or to raise money for the school that her two boys attend she takes the same approach in making her audience feel at ease- by making them laugh.  There may have been a few raised eyebrows that the host of SexCom Denver would be the emcee of Lincoln Elementary School annual fundraiser, but they soon relaxed as soon as it began. At the comedy-inspired fundraising event called BASH (Be a School Hero) for Lincoln Elementary School when fellow parents and teachers filed into the Ballroom at the University of Denver, Debbie exclaimed, “You people clean up...
Real talk – from my 4 and 7 year old boys (re: my dating life)

Real talk – from my 4 and 7 year old boys (re: my dating life)

*Dinner conversation brought to you by my fabulous boys who unbeknownst to me run a dating service. Dinner with my boys can be full of unrelenting silence or vibrant chatter. I am happy that tonight was a chatter filled night even if the conversation caught me off guard as the focus was  on my dating life or shall I say, my date free life. Now it is important to know that my youngest son, like most four year olds is full of fabulous questions, what, why, how, who, what, no, who, no,  no, no… blah blah blah…. My seven year old lives in a world where eye contact is a scam to get people to engage in mundane conversations and answers come in the form of monosyllabic grunts and groans. He will avoid eye contact at all costs UNLESS you are wearing a Lego suit, mine craft jewelry or perhaps a shawl made of bacon. In a nutshell my oldest son is the blueprint of a crotchety 85 year old Jewish man trapped in a seven year old body. As we sat down to enjoy our dinner my four year old casually asks me if I have a girlfriend. Because I am no stranger to parenting and have learned a few tricks along the way, I naturally do what all savvy parents do and completely ignore his question while at the same time asking him to pass the broccoli. Sadly not only did he NOT pass the broccoli but he repeated the question within an inch of my face so I have no choice but to acknowledge not only...
Confession

Confession

Confession time. I know it’s risky to make confessions in such a public way but sometimes you just need to say it once and be done with it and therefore FB seems to be a great way to get the most bang for my confession buck. I’m in a really good space right now, I have an amazing family, fantastic friends and so I feel ready to share something this wildly personal. Yes I am nervous about the reaction and yes I will admit that I am feeling very exposed and vulnerable but here it goes. I LOATHE PUMPKIN ANYTHING!! I get it I get it, we are heading right into pumpkin season. The pumpkin drinks, pies, pastas, cakes, ice-cream…all of it, I hate it all!! I don’t mind picking pumpkins and drawing on them and even carving them (although truth be told I am really shitty at the drawing and carving part) but the thought of eating anything pumpkin flavored makes me want to get into the fetal position and just rock, rock, rock until springtime arrives and we can move on to the other thing that I have so much contempt for…Peeps!! So there, I’ve said it and if those of you who haven’t unfriended me due to my football rant want to now unfriend me due to my pumpkin rant then so be it, I can handle it and will just wait until spring when I can piss off the remaining friends I have with my anti Peep campaign!   A few perfect...